Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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