My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize