Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Randomize
Follow @tfln