Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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