I CAN MOONWALK!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize