she kept yelling 'call me bella'
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize