It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
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Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
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Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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