I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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