I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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