it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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