As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize