Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
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history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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