yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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