I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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