Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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