I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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