the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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