I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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