the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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