All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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