in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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