I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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