I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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