What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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