I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
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You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
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Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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