So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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