Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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