Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize