before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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