There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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