She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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