next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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