his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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