So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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