I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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