At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Who died my cat blue again?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize