I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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