I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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