and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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