I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
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i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize