ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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