I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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