I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize