Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize