I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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