Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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