i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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