I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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