Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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