I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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